Perks of Being a Wallflower

I watched Perks of Being a Wallflower alone today.

It's kind of sad at first but I got over it since I am such the movie buff and I think I can manage being alone in the movie theater. That and how much I wanted to watch that movie very much. 

So there I was purchasing a ticket for 1. Usually I go to the movies either with my family or friends, but this time that's not the case. My friends and family were too busy to go. 

So I just sat there, relaxed, and watched the movie trailers and waited for the movie to begin. 

It was weird just watching by myself. There was no one to talk to or comment on about what the hell happened, but as I watched the movie I came to realize that I needed to watch this particular movie on my own. It opened up old wounds. It opened the emo side of my so called happy life. 

Did I ever mention that I have been enrolled to 10 schools already? Pretty awesome right? No. Not really. It was a roller coaster ride. It damaged me as I grew up. All the separation and the isolation and the starting over, over and over again in an endless cycle. That's how I could relate to Charlie in the movie. I felt what he felt. I had been in that situation, the situation where you don't have friends. the situation where you don't know where to go, where to belong. I was struggling like Charlie.

In the moment where Patrick toasted to Charlie and welcoming him in their little clique, I can't help but cry, I didn't even had the chance to stop it. The tears just streamed down uncontrollably. Acceptance, knowing where you belong after all the times that you feel helpless and lost, it's like a ray of sunshine after a long storm. You finally know you have something to lean on. Maybe that's why I value friendship very much, because I had to earn it the hard way. Maybe that's why I don't give in too quickly because I know how important it is. 

Everyone has their own scars. I have my own. I needed that movie. I needed that movie all to myself. I think it was meant for me to be watched alone. After the movie it gave me feelings of relief and hope that everything will get better and the better for each and everyone of us has it's own timing.  

Don't let this movie pass, okay? It has everything. It's about friendship, it's ups and downs and everything in between. It'll make you laugh and cry. You'll feel what they feel. It's as if you're with them. And you won't regret every minute you watch it :)


I just find it interesting

How in one moment in life you are just there minding your own business and then BAM! Someone tells you he likes you. It actually stops the momentum of the routine that has been naively established. It widens your perspective in view of your mundane life. It's the one that makes the ripple in undisturbed waters.

The question is though, what do you do about it?

Do you say thank you, then walk away?

Do you delve deeper and find out if it's worth something?

It really is about the choices we make in life that will decipher if it was worth fighting for.


PS: Yes, I know it's been a while. :)

So what now?

Hey everyone! And by everyone I meant those people who actually read my teeny tiny blog amongst all the millions and billions of blogs out there in the world. :P it has been a while since I blogged, and it's about time that I do, AGAIN.

So what now?

Well just to let you know I passed my nursing licensure exams months ago, I even started training, and I applied to be a staff nurse to various hospitals.. I am now at a point wherein I have to go through the waiting process. That indefinite waiting process.

What should I do?

Do training again? I am pretty much tired of the whole I have to pay for the training and I only get experience in return. I studied for 4 years to get paid with the education my parents paid for. Isn't that enough to land me a job? Plus.. where do I get the money? My parents discouraged me from getting jobs that are way off from nursing. That leaves me unemployed with no money. :P I hope that in the near future I do get a job.

I wait.

It has only been less than 2 months that I have nothing to do. I seriously have a lot of time to kill, though the problem is I am alone. My parents are at work and my brother's in school. It blows my mind that I am just so stagnant. I want to move forward and I hope I do get that chance to.

I have a lot of free time on my hands.. I think I should use it as wisely as I can.